You want to learn how to play guitar?

You want to learn how to play guitar? How do you go about learning? Well..., I was just layin' there on my parents lawn one afternoon.........  

All of a sudden the clouds parted and a flash of pure white light came down and struck me. All this incredible knowledge just entered my body. (I also aged really fast!)  

From that moment on I could play all these cool things on guitar.